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Why you should not blame yourself for feeling pain

It can be difficult to learn about pain. When we learn how pain works, we see that we ourselves can have a lot of influence on our pain. However, this can also give the feeling that we have not done well before.

A while ago, a woman who had been in pain for seven years said, after a bit of explanation: 'So it's all my own fault'. After I had told her how the brain works in case of pain. 

Don't blame yourself

I don't think it's about guilt,' I said. The onset of pain happens unconsciously and often automatically. When it happened, you reacted as you thought was right. You did not consciously work on your pain so that you could lose your job. And besides, I don't think it's any good for anyone to be extra upset - those years of pain are bad enough already...

And that's how I still feel. I've never met anyone who's tried to express pain. To add an extra scoop to it with guilt seems pointless to me.

Taking responsibility

So no guilt. But responsibility. Knowledge about pain shows that we can influence it ourselves. With the knowledge about pain, you are given tools that make the influence on your own life increase. Tools to improve your thoughts, feelings, behaviour and attention piece by piece. Tools to develop yourself as a person - and thus increase your own influence.

And that responsibility must be taken. If no one has been able to take away your pain, there is a chance that this will not just happen. What if all life's circumstances have made the problem worse? Then it's time to stop letting the circumstances determine your pain. Getting your own influence on your pain.

Taking the long road

No matter how strange it sounds, it can also be painful. Everyone hopes for a quick solution to his or her pain. That a doctor, or another practitioner, does something about it. That it's all about if you wait long enough. To realize that you have a long road ahead of you in terms of development is not the best news. Until you realize afterwards what that development has given you. 

Why you should not blame yourself for feeling pain